An Eye Opening Experience

I was catching up on some blogs today and came across this post. Starting in the 3rd paragraph the Lord really started to grip my heart. I have always struggled with allowing my husband to lead our home. I have often prayed that God would help him to be a better leader. That's the right thing to do, right? Not so much the way I was going about it. My idea of a good household leader was that he needed to be more outspoken and take charge. So, often my prayers led to my telling God that He needed to change my husband - never really crossing my mind that I was the one that needed to change. I have spent so much time criticizing him instead of being the supportive wife that God has called me to be. My husband is a very quiet man (when he's not playing with children/teenagers). He doesn't like confrontation or arguments. So, I often wrongly interpret his silence as him being a bad leader. The more I've thought about it today, the more I've thought about who he is. My husband loves to mull things over. He thinks about things for days before making decisions. I, on the other hand, often make very hasty decisions in order to not miss out on things or just plain, ugly, impatience. I am realizing that I really need to sit back and allow him to take the lead. I hear the Holy Spirit telling me to get out of the way!!

The part of her post that really gripped me was the 6th paragraph. She lists some examples of decisions that she has supported him in and even though she was scared she stepped back so he could lead. She specifically mentions job changes. We have had so much of that lately and I have always had my ideas of what he needed to do and not trusted that he could make a decision on his own. That often led to many disagreements because he of course does not like to be told what to do or be constantly checked up on. Who does? Why would I think that he wouldn't mind? That's where the problem lies - I didn't consider him in the situation. I started to worry right away and thinking about the situation from an earthly perspective forgetting the God of the Bible would take care of us.

A very ironic twist is that we have been doing the Love & Respect workbook by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. (Maybe I should have titled my blog 'The Ironies of Life) I thought I had learned it all cause I read the book last year, but I am learning that I have so much more to learn as the crazy cycles continue. We are in week 3 of the study and I look forward to continuing with my husband on this journey to learn how to better meet each others needs.

- This is in no way a contrast to my "Peace From the Saviour" post. I know that God will take care of us, but I was not trusting Him to use my husband as the leader of our home.